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If you want to know why Argentina hate England so much, forget the Falklands; blame Alexander Watson Hutton. Commonly regarded as the father of Argentine football, Hutton formed the Argentine Association Football League, the first recognised football league outside Europe. Thing is, for most of its first decade, it was just for the British. Locals were forced to watch enviously from the sidelines, and thus began Argentina’s uneasy relationship with football’s mother country. Or as former national team captain Roberto Perfumo once put it: “Winning against England is like school-kids beating the teachers.” And Diego Maradona’s dance through the England defence in 1986 is the ultimate playground goal: sheer pubescent audacity from start to finish. For one thing, he begins with his back to goal. His head is constantly raised, looking for Jorge Valdano, but unable to find room for the pass. So he simply powers on himself; past Terry Fenwick, past Peter Shilton, and then holding off Terry Butcher as he tucks the ball in. For Argentinians everywhere, pure joy: not just at the goal, but at the decades of resentment it unlocked: from the Belgrano to Antonio Rattin to Alexander Watson Hutton. Who – irony of ironies – was Scottish.