A man pushes a wooden basin in which his granddaugter sits through a flooded road at Lianhua village, Duchang county, East China's Jiangxi province, on June 27.[Photo/Xinhua]

When a flood hit Daxian village in Xingtai, North China's Hebei province, on July 20, a villager Gao Fengshou saved his mother first, then returned to save his wife and children, only to find they were gone. Luckily all turned up safe eventually, but his wife refused to talk to him and stayed in another relief station. In the fierce debate online, people were divided over criticizing Gao or criticizing his wife. China Youth Daily comments:

It must be difficult for Gao to choose between saving his mother and his wife first. No matter who he chose to save first, that could leave the other in more severe danger.

Though Gao's whole family survived the fatal flood, those debating the incident have turned it into a moral trial. Some blamed Gao for being too cruel to his wife, while some blamed his wife for not understanding his situation. It seems that the family survived the flood but could not escape criticism.

But it is unfair for other people to blame either of them. When the flood entered the house, Gao had little time to think and he showed he is not a coward by saving his mother, and then going back to save the rest of his family.

Gao's wife, meanwhile, had awakened her husband and helped her children, as well as her father-in-law. While doing so she was under a lot of stress, she had every reason to leave her husband for a while to recover. Why blame her?

Whom will you save first in case of a flood, your mother or your wife? That question has no answer because it is a typical example of damned if you do, damned if you don't.

People should not ask such questions any more.