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It's hard to miss Jenna Lyons. Tall and slim as a mink, often eccentrically dressed and wearing her signature boxy eyewear, the 44-year-old executive creative director of J. Crew was an instantly recognizable presence at the many parties, runway shows and red carpet events she attended during 2012.

At the Costume Institute gala in May, she dressed in a denim jacket with a formal silk skirt in Schiaparelli pink. During Fashion Week, she danced at the Alexander Wang after-party in an unbuttoned shirt. At the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund dinner in early November, she wore a matching silver paisley top and pants reminiscent of 1950s men's pajamas.

On November 12, on the stage at Carnegie Hall where she was named one of Glamour magazine's Women of the Year, Ms. Lyons (in a man's tuxedo shirt and form-fitting black pants) spoke movingly of her life path. "I know what it's like not to feel beautiful," she told the audience. "I remember that feeling."

There was another moment of significance in the speech, at least for those in the fashion world who had been whispering about Ms. Lyons's private life for the last year: when she thanked, along with her young son and her boss, "Courtney, who has shown me new love."

Ms. Lyons's acceptance speech was a public acknowledgment of her relationship with Courtney Crangi, the woman whom she starting dating after separating from her husband of nine years, the artist Vincent Mazeau. The couple's breakup at the end of 2011 and the subsequent romance had been avidly covered.

There is no denying that Ms. Lyons's growing celebrity has been good for her and J. Crew. And Ms. Lyons concedes that she is not immune to the joys of a fame helped along by Michelle Obama's devotion to the brand .

But not all publicity is welcome publicity. "I've been sort of shocked with the level of interest in my personal life," she said.

December was the 22nd anniversary of Ms. Lyons's arrival at J. Crew, where she worked her way to the top. Now, as the company's president, she oversees every visible part of the company. One might call her today's answer to Tom Ford, who almost two decades ago undertook the reinvention of Gucci.

Ms. Lyons is like Mr. Ford in many ways: articulate, intelligent, charismatic, controlling and very talented. But Mr. Ford, a former model, courted fame with a cool self-assurance. By contrast, Ms. Lyons is downto-earth and self-effacing. She is also surprisingly unconcerned about how she is seen and depicted, although almost everything she wears is from J. Crew.

"Nothing ever feels forced or contrived or rehearsed with her," said Mark Holgate, the fashion news director of Vogue. "There's a kind of vulnerability and unguardedness that is rare in that level of designer."

When it is suggested that she could be described as equal parts fashion insider and outsider, she scoffed. "I am totally an outsider," she said. "I am so not an insider, and that is O.K."

That sensibility springs from sensitivity. Growing up in California, Ms. Lyons's awkward height (she is 1.8 meters tall) was compounded by a genetic disorder, incontinentia pigmenti, that scarred her skin and caused her hair to fall out.

Then, in seventh grade, she learned how to sew. The popular girls liked what she made. Style gave her armor and cachet.

Ms. Lyons was able to integrate the experience into her look, her work and the philosophy behind J. Crew itself. "It is not like you have to prescribe to a certain identity or idea to be a part of the brand," she said. "I grew up not feeling like part of the group, and I hate that feeling and hate making anyone feel that way."

Ms. Lyons says she didn't intend to cause a stir for thanking Ms. Crangi.

"It certainly is strange to wake up, at 44, and look at the person next to you and think: 'Oh! This wasn't what I expected,' " she said. "But I don't think love works that way, and I am O.K. with that."

The New York Times

(China Daily 03/17/2013 page12)